In the year 2006…
Behold! Saturn is on the rise and Venus is in the cusp, and I, the amazing Krol (available now for birthday parties and corporate events), come to you with wondrous predictions most fantastic! I have drank the dragon’s blood, bathed in the pale moonlight, and danced with the nymphs of the Forest Beyond the Park-n-Save Lot, all in an effort to provide YOU, gentle reader, with the top ten predictions found in the world of computer gaming for 2006. So gather round my Orb of Foresight and let us take a mystical journey into…
Ten Computer Gaming Predictions for 2006
1. There will be more WWII themed shooters, but still no shooter based on the Salt War of 1611.
2. First person shooters will have crates in them, and the crates will contain items.
3. A gaming magazine and/or website will write an article about how computer gaming is still strong in the face of the new consoles. The same magazine and/or website will feature many ads for console games.
4. Duke Nukem Forever will not be released.
5. Computer wargames will dominate the marketplace to the point that even hot babes will want to game Operation Soltice, the 11th SS Panzer’s drive to attempt to relieve their trapped comrades at Arnswalde. (Oh wait, this should go in my Ten Computer Gaming Fantasies for 2006 blog…)
6. Uwe Boll continues to make movies based on computer games. He will secure the rights to Tetris and declares it will be one of the finest movies ever made, besting not only Citizen Kane but also Bio-Dome.
7. Some idiot who happens to own a computer game will do something stupid, and attorneys, congressional leaders, and self-proclaimed media experts will blame the game industry.
8. Grand Theft Auto: Chocolate City.
9. East European real-time strategy games will continue to expand the number of units you can control to the point they will boast “One million units on screen!”. Unfortunately, one million units on screen will just look like one giant 17” pixel.
10. People will still make lame predictions about the coming year. Hey wait—THE PROPHECY HAS BEEN FULFILLED!!!!
-Scott
Hi,
If you put #5 in your other list, be sure to spell it “Operation Solstice”
I especially liked #7 - amazing prediction that one
Greetz,
Eddy Sterckx
Comment by Eddy Sterckx — 1/20/2006 @ 2:34 am
Bwahahahahaah!
You are the first new-year-prophet who I am sure will hit the target!
Congratulations, I really enjoyed reading this entry!
Comment by Tayete — 1/28/2006 @ 3:44 am
Love the line about Duke Nukem Forever… ROFLMAO…. I think there isn’t a gamer alive who wouldn’t find that funny. “I am going rip off your head and shit down your throat!” - Duke
Comment by William — 3/16/2006 @ 4:48 pm